Arguments are typical in any relationship or marriage. A couple who does not disagree or has arguments is not functional and operates in pretense, and agreeing on everything is impossible.
Arguments show that there is work to be done in the relationship. What you do after a fight is essential, as it will set things back to normal.
There are dos and don’ts after an argument. Understanding when the other person needs time and space is also essential. However, acting as nothing has happened is the wrong approach. Instead, it would be best if you took action to make things right. You can mend things with your wife/girlfriend after an argument in the following ways:
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Write a Sincere Love Note
A written message or note can go a long way in a person’s heart. Express your honest feelings to let your partner know that you still love and adore them even after the argument. In the note, you can also include an apology promising that what you said will never happen and promising a better version of yourself in the future.
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Do Not Post About the Fight in Social Media
Many people direct their frustration by posting about fights with their partners, which is a wrong and immature move. You might think you will get the attention of your partner, but sometimes it stirs up the argument even more. So instead of rushing to post about a fight, find other better alternatives such as sending a love note or a card.
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Buy a Present
It is advisable to buy a present for your partner after an argument. Make sure it doesn’t seem like you are trying to bribe them. Go for something that is not a big deal and yet thoughtful, such as pendants and bracelets. These types of presents give an I-am-sorry message without her having to think about why you bought it. If she thinks about it, she will probably overthink the gift, and you may end up starting another fight.
Own Up for Your Mistakes
Acknowledging you were wrong during an argument can speed up the reconciling process. Owning up to something you said is also important. Accept you were wrong instead of denying everything or playing the victim. Make your partner know they did not deserve what you said to them, and you regret saying the hurtful things.
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Apologize
The best way to apologize is to be sincere in your apology. Women can always tell when someone is giving an insincere apology. An appropriate apology after an argument entails explaining what exactly you are sorry for and showing remorse for. Promise that whatever happened will never repeat itself. A simple ‘I’m Sorry’ is hollow and cannot make an impact that will make sure she forgives you.
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Do not Jump to Makeup Sex
Jumping into makeup sex, although common in many couples, is not a practical step to take after a fight. It may seem excellent now but may stir up more reasons to fight in the future, making it a cycle. Be mindful of jumping into sex after fights as it can create a pattern, instead give each other time to cool off before taking any action.
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Talk About the Fight
As you talk about the fight, listen carefully to what your partner feels. Do not invalidate your partner’s feelings or try to justify your reaction or action during the conflict. Talking and listening to each other will help set things back to normal. However, it will only apply when both of you have cooled down to avoid lashing at each other again.
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Speak Their Love Language
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, give them precisely that. If their love language is quality time, spend more time with them and if their love language is acts of service, be present for them and volunteer to do things for them. If you do not know what their love language is, find ways to incorporate all of them.
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Order Your Favorite Fast Food
We have seen food throughout history as being used to reconcile warring parties. So order your favorite food and eat together as you both relax your minds and distract yourselves a bit from the fight. Food will also serve to calm both of you before trying to mend things. It will also allow you to do something together.
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Validate Your Partner
After a fight, your partner can become very sensitive. Find times when your compliments will mean something to them. Then compliment them as much as possible to show you still appreciate them. Also, when they do something, appreciate their efforts.
Arguments are ordinary in any relationship and what differs is how you respond or react after a fight. Disputes can be little or significant, but whether small, you must do something to bring things back to normal.